


Five Times Xev Turned Stan Down (and the One Time She Didn't)

by yuffiehighwind



Category: Lexx
Genre: 5 Times, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-01
Updated: 2010-09-01
Packaged: 2017-11-18 09:15:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/559338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuffiehighwind/pseuds/yuffiehighwind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zev Bellringer's dress was a clingy blue number that accentuated her curves, usually as she sprinted down hallways from mortal danger. The sight of her body could stop Stanley Tweedle short and quicken his pulse. But for years, he rarely tried anything more than the unsexy, pragmatic approach of demanding she have sex with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Volcano of Desire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place during S1E1, "I Worship His Shadow," and S1E2, "Supernova."

Zev Bellringer's dress was a clingy blue number that accentuated her curves, usually as she sprinted down hallways from mortal danger. Her tall, black boots drew the eye to her thighs, and on upward to where that dress hugged her figure. The sight of her body could stop Stanley Tweedle short and quicken his pulse.  
  
The boots were made of a heavy, thick material, designed to carry a bigger load. Which was just as well, because despite her recent, miraculous weight loss, the skinny teenager hadn't lost that much weight. She had to keep her Cluster Lizard form… _somewhere._  Law of the conservation of mass. Not that anyone knew about  _that_  quirk of hers, yet.  
  
It wasn't like Stan was a pervert for  _looking._  It wasn't like the girl hadn't let him kiss her once, either.  
  
Maybe if Giggerota hadn't been lurking nearby, polluting the atmosphere with her evil, Zev would have kissed back instead of trying to eat him. (That openly eager expression on the girl's face had looked like lust, but apparently she was just hungry.)  
  
Sigh.  _Cluster Lizards…_  
  
Sometime into their journey through the Dark Zone, the girl still wouldn't reconsider a quick roll in the hay. She instead gazed longingly at the handsome corpse lying in the Lexx's cryochamber.  
  
Stan tried pointing out they were the only two people on board, and possibly the only two people in the galaxy, if there were any people in the Dark Zone at all. (Kai didn't count.) Despite the strength of Zev's unrequited love for the undead assassin, she made the mistake of admitting to Stan that she was horny.  
  
_Perfect!_  he thought. Uncontrollable urges, plus low standards, would equal Stan's first lay in ten years.  
  
He tried denying he was a bit of a pervert, he really did. He had wandered into the shower room to tell the girl something  _entirely_  unrelated to sex. Really. (Not really.) But he turned his head and caught a glimpse of her nude, wet body, and found himself just standing there, transfixed, watching as she caressed her skin.  
  
In this new, beautiful body, Zev was no shy, blushing flower. She felt proud, now, full of self-confidence she never had. So when she caught him watching, Zev didn't lash out in anger. She relished that someone desired her so very much.  
  
And she was a free woman, at last. He could look, but that didn't mean he got to touch.  
  
Zev decided to taunt her foolish crew-mate a bit.  
  
"You want me, don't you Stan?" she asked. It wasn't even a question.  
  
She had shed the dress, but still wore the black rubber bindings that wrapped around her wrists and shoulders. Teasing him was fun, so Zev confessed that she felt like "a white hot volcano of desire," and that she _craved_  touch. (Which she did. She really did.)

Stan wanted to touch her. (He did. He really did.)  
  
Replying that  _he_  felt like a volcano too, Zev smugly brushed him off, telling him, "There's only one thing for you to do, Stanley Tweedle. Go somewhere private and erupt by yourself."  
  
But even when she was being cruel, Stan had always liked the way Zev said his name.


	2. A Friend Who's Dressed in Leather

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place between S2E3, "Lyekka," and S2E4, "Luvliner."

Xev Bellringer emerged from a carnivorous plant woman's nest like a butterfly out of a chrysalis, (her remains reconstituted by the friendly, but deadly, creature) with her memories intact. Everything else was where it should be, too, despite the obvious fact she looked nothing like Zev.  
  
The libido was the same,  _and_  the Cluster Lizard DNA. Xev personally identified as both a Lizard and a Love Slave. Her abiding love for Kai also remained, and although she looked older, and homelier, she retained a slight B3K accent. Whenever she said Stanley's name, he could almost picture Zev mouthing the syllables. He tried putting the thought out of his mind - that sense of loss, of missing her - when she stood before him dripping with goo, wrapped in a sheet and looking as pissed off as Zev ever did.  
  
You couldn't mourn a woman properly when she was glaring at you and asking for a knife.  
  
Hours, possibly days, later (the robot head 790, infatuated with the girl, was apoplectic, claiming they'd let her get killed again), Xev returned, soaked in blood and gore with extensive amounts of Cluster Lizard hide strapped to her back.  
  
She darted for the showers, and when she returned, got to work crafting some clothes.  
  
Zev could run around in a torn blue wedding dress and make it look incredibly sexy, but death by laser tended to shred outfits, and the disturbingly focused Xev was determined to make her new attire represent everything new about her.  
  
The old, blue dress was from her old, depressing life. Xev emerged from her quarters with a Lizard scale breastplate and corset over a cloth skirt, covered by, yup, more scales.  
  
"Next planet we find, I need to make my hides into leather."  
  
"You…what…did you…wha…?"  
  
"I know what leather is, but I don't know how to make it, so I just took some scales and the cloth that was lying around and made some armor, see?"  
  
"What the….how did you….Where were the….?"  
  
"You don't remember finding Squish? Well there were even  _more_  Lizards lurking on board! I had to sniff them out, hunt them, so they wouldn't eat you, Stanley."  
  
She twirled a bit, a gleeful grin lighting up her face.  
  
"And so I could make my new outfit."  
  
"You killed them by hand?"  
  
Xev looked a bit puzzled. The bloodlust had been a little disorienting, and she couldn't remember everything about the hunt, but she wouldn't tell Stan that.  
  
"Mostly," she replied.  
  
Not long after, Stan sat down in her room, making conversation as he watched the strange girl drape violet sheets they'd found to make her bed more welcoming. His eyes were drawn to her same old, black boots (they'd kept them) and wrist and shoulder cuffs (those too). Straps originally designed to enslave, Zev and Xev wore the black rubber like accessories. Or badges of honor.  
  
She was taller than Zev, more athletic, and a bit more muscular. The fire-haired girl had a shapelier figure - wider hips, maybe, and as she bent over the bed, smoothing out the sheets, Stan couldn't help but look and grin.  
  
Still a pervert.  
  
"You know, Xev," he said, crossing his fingers, "you did a great job on that armor. It looks really good on you."  
  
He couldn't see her face, but Xev had rolled her eyes and continued working.  
  
"And that bed looks awfully comfortable," he added. "I'd really love to try it out."  
  
Xev looked behind her and straightened. Facing the Captain, she put one hand on her hip and gestured with the other towards the bed.  
  
"By all means," she said. He quickly and eagerly got up, darting over to it like a teenager. But Xev had walked away to start cutting some more cloth for her project. She needed something to sleep in, maybe the same purple fabric as the bedlinen…  
  
Stan sat on the bed, then shifted to get more comfortable. Xev still wasn't looking, probably on purpose, but he stretched out (which only got his dirty shoes on her sheets, but maybe she wouldn't notice), his head propped up on one arm, and tried to strike some kind of seductive pose.  
  
But Xev just looked up at him innocently, like a good friend, and like a woman who didn't know what Stan was up to.  
  
Which she certainly did, because she said, "It's comfy, isn't it, Stanley?"  
  
He patted the space beside him and tilted his head, gesturing for her to lie down.  
  
"I'm good," she said, and continued to busy herself across the room.  
  
Exasperated, Stan swung his legs off the bed.  
  
"Ya know, I'm getting tired of this, Xev."  
  
Keeping her tone light and chipper, an annoyed Xev replied, "Really? Because I am, too."  
  
"We're miles from civilization and  _desperate_  for sex. At least I am, and you used to tell me that you were."  
  
Xev nodded, with a fake smile.  
  
"You hit the nail on the head, Stan."  
  
"Then why not me? Why not now, after all we've been through?"  
  
She just shook her head.  
  
"Can't really say."  
  
"Come on, Xev, you owe me a reason. One good reason, at least give me that."  
  
Xev started to reply, but he cut in, sighing, "And don't tell me it's because you're in love with Kai. You don't have to be  _in love_  to have  _sex."_  
  
Xev begged to differ. She'd prefer to be in love and have sex with that lover at the same time. Regardless of her living and Kai's undead status, Xev had a good enough reason not to bed her obnoxious friend.  
  
"I don't want you."  
  
Stan, face falling in disappointment  _(again)_ , asked,  _"Why not?"_  
  
But Xev just smirked. "You said I only had to give  _one_  reason. I'm sorry, Stan, but I have a lot of work to do on my new clothes. Let me know when we find a planet that can make leather."  
  
With that, she turned around, her back radiating the message to go away. The feeling was accentuated by a sort of nameless dread, perhaps caused by Cluster Lizard pheromones.  
  
Stan didn't push his luck.


	3. First Rule of Nook Is There Are No Rules

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place during S2E11, "Nook."

Xev's proposal - that she'd sleep with Stan if she found no lovers on the planet's surface - seemed like a good deal until the trio landed on the small island, greeted by a crowd of men. Turned out the island was a monastery, so Stan's inquiries about "beaches" and "girls" went nowhere.   
  
But a monastery meant monks, which meant vows of celibacy. Which meant Stan was the only (living) man present who hadn't made such a vow, which meant Xev had to sleep with him.  
  
So he wasn't prepared for the Night of No Rules.  
  
Stan certainly wasn't prepared for an acolyte named Tregor to fall in love with him, but there it was. It was unusual, getting hit on by a guy (getting hit on by anyone, for that matter), having to reassert his heterosexuality. It was unusual having to explain what heterosexuality even  _was,_  since the monks were not monks at all, but naive young men denied the knowledge that women even existed.  
  
"What's the Night of No Rules?" they asked the monks, getting eager replies about how it was the best night of the year, because the straight boys would drink themselves silly, and the men like Tregor…  
  
Regardless of what they did in private, the ascetic monks never got to party more than once a year, so Xev was unofficially made the guest of honor and given cat ears and a tail. As Kai was uncovering some dark truths about the island's origins, Stan was in a homosexual panic and Xev was completely oblivious.  
  
After an unusual lunch their second day there, though, Stan pulled Xev aside.  
  
"These guys are pretty religious, Xev. Don't go using your feminine wiles on them."  
  
Xev narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms.  
  
"I'm not using any 'wiles.' There's plenty guys here genuinely interested in me, and the deal was if I didn't find a man here,  _you_  could have me." Her eyes glimmered, and in a mocking tone she added, "So I'm looking for  _a man."_  
  
Two acolytes scurried by, waving shyly at Xev. She beamed a smile at them, then resumed her steely glare for Stan's benefit. He rolled his eyes, then recalled something that might annoy her right back.  
  
"You know, they keep referring to  _you_  as 'a man,' Xev. They didn't seem to notice your,  _ahem,_  attributes." He gestured at her breasts.  
  
Xev started walking away, so Stan followed her.  
  
"They just haven't seen a real woman before," she said. "In fact, I'm using that to my advantage, Stan." She stopped and turned, giving him a haughty look, then pointed to a whispering crowd of monks across the courtyard.  
  
"They think I'm fascinating, and I'm pretty sure one of them will want an,  _'ahem,'_  up-close inspection."  
  
"You're incorrigible, Xev," Stan said. She just smiled.  
  
"Look who's talking."  
  
Later, Stan overheard Xev tell some monks she would be looking for the man in the "rat" costume at the party, so he procured his own rat costume. Actually, he stole it from an acolyte who'd had too much to drink. Peering through the eyeholes and trying not to stumble, Stan made it to the party in one piece, only to find that there were three other men dressed as rats. They crowded the stage where Xev shamelessly danced, meowing, white cat ears protruding from her bright red hair.  
  
Sneaking out of the party, Xev ushered three men into her bedroom, before slamming the door on the fourth.  
  
"I'm a rat, too!" Stan squeaked, but Xev just pushed the mask up to find a sheepish Stan awkwardly grinning at her.  
  
"Get out of here," she said, shooing him away. She entered the room and Stan could hear through the door Xev announcing who was going first.  
  
Next time, for sure - beaches and girls.


	4. Tying Up Loose Ends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place between S2E20, "End of the Universe," and S3E1, "Fire and Water."

Mantrid defeated at last, Xev and Stan collapsed into bed, exhausted, while Kai and 790 kept watch for any remaining threat through Lexx's vidscreen.  
  
Lexx floated through unfamiliar space, recovering from the great pain of his journey through the fractal core, but ignorant of any of its meaning. The massive insect had been propelled back into the Dark Zone, a parallel universe they hadn't visited for a year. As if the Giga Shadow's genocide wasn't bad enough, Mantrid had gone a step further and completely destroyed the entire Light Zone.  
  
Which was their fault, because if Kai had never met the crazed scientist (or rather, his floating head), the Giga Shadow's essence that Kai unwittingly carried would never have infected him, spurring him onto his destructive path.  
  
Xev and Stan didn't think about this. They didn't really think of anything, curled up in Xev's bed trying to fall asleep. 790 didn't like that arrangement one bit, but Kai kept him busy trying to figure out why the Lexx wouldn't propel himself or respond to any inquiries. 790 protested the Key was needed, so Tweedle should be awakened immediately and dragged to the bridge. And kept at least fifty feet from Xev's bed, for good measure.  
  
Stan dreamt for the first time in weeks, and Lyekka's image filled his vision. Dead, now, the plant woman had sacrificed her life to help them. The Lyekka of Stan's dreams was no cruel girl from high school, but the affectionate carnivore who watched over them and protected them, when she wasn't threatening to eat Xev. The reason she didn't attack Xev wasn't because the Cluster Lizard would put up a good fight, but because the plant knew Stan loved her.  
  
Xev didn't dream, because every time she drifted off, she saw Mantrid's twisted visage and was startled awake. Stan continued to sleep, comforted by a dying Lyekka he never wanted to let go by waking up. Xev didn't know the contents of his dreams, but she did know he was so far gone he wouldn't notice if she cuddled up against him.  
  
She finally fell asleep, somehow, and when she woke, found Stan's arm draped around her, holding her tight. She didn't immediately want to puke, which could be considered a sign of progress in their friendship. She couldn't picture getting angry, but thought of a furious 790 berating the Captain into the next week.  
  
"Stan," she said, nudging him. Better to get him out of her bed now before 790 wheeled in on his cart.  
  
"Mmm," he murmured, blinking. "Oh, Xev, you're okay! I thought I had to stop you falling."  
  
"What?"  
  
That explained the grip. She squirmed away from him, just a bit, and adjusted their sheets idly.  
  
"You were falling so far, and I tried to catch you."  
  
He was still half-dreaming. Surely, reality would dawn. Any second.  
  
"I'm so glad you're alright," he said.  
  
Hmm. That was odd. No sloppy come-on, no snide remark, and no lewd joke. Yeah, they'd definitely just ridden on the wave of an exploding universe. Wingless mammals were going to start flying.  
  
The man blinked again, then sat up, groaning.  
  
"What time is it?"  
  
Xev shrugged, unaware. Only 790 had the answer, and she knew he changed it for laughs.  
  
But their situation wasn't very funny, now, was it?  
  
The two disentangled themselves from each other, and not speaking of it, made their way to the bridge. 790 was shaking, or trying to, but Kai kept a passive expression on his rarely changing features.  
  
"Oh, Xev!" 790 cried, worry and fear in his voice.  
  
"What is it, 790?" she asked, but the robot head just wailed before regaining his composure. "Kai, what happened?"  
  
Kai glanced at the vidscreen, and the two followed his gaze.  
  
"The Lexx is unable to propel itself. We have barely moved from our entry point into the universe."  
  
"He's not…dead, is he?" Stan asked. He hurried over to the controls to test out the Key, but it reacted just the same. The Lexx's deep voice didn't reply, though.  
  
"Maybe it's our, what do you call it? Perception. How long have we been traveling?" Xev asked.  
  
790 stopped crying enough to answer.   
  
"Xev, my love, we have been drifting for eight hours with no significant movement. At full speed, the Lexx was able to traverse light years in a matter of hours."  
  
"How far have we traveled?" Stan asked.  
  
"Miles," Kai replied. Which was troubling, because the ship itself was miles long.  
  
So it was proposed that Xev and Stan would enter cryostasis, until such time that the Lexx encountered a planet with life, and preferably civilization, on it. Kai would awaken every so often to check the ship and monitor his friends, while 790 would endure the passage of time and watch over them all.  
  
The only thing keeping 790 from killing himself (other than his inability to do so) was the hope that one day, Xev would reawaken and the two could find a home and finally be happy. (Without Kai or Stan.)  
  
Stan didn't want to say goodbye so soon. As Xev lingered with Kai, trying to get as much time with him as she could, in case she never woke up, Stan watched them from a distance before approaching and asking Xev to help him with one last-minute thing.  
  
"What is it, Stan?" she asked, looking around. He'd led her back to his bedroom, which was a dingy area with a bed carved out of an old moth shell. She had no idea how changed this room might become in their years asleep. Maybe not at all.  
  
She sat down on the bed, and regretted the move as soon as he said, "How about it?"  
  
"How about what?" she asked.  
  
"You….and me," he said, pointing at the moth shell. He was a bit sick of being so obvious.  
  
Xev didn't even have the energy to glare at him. Yeah, no more cuddling.  _Ever._  Imploding universe, or no.  
  
"Okay, how about this instead," Xev said, standing up and heading for the door. "How about we reconsider this in a few centuries. Sleep on it."  
  
Stan sat down, exasperated. He flung up his hands. "Fine. Fine. Look, you can't fault a guy for trying."  
  
Xev didn't have time to get into all the flaws in that statement. He rarely tried anything more than the unsexy, pragmatic approach of demanding she have sex with him.  
  
"Goodnight, Stan," she said. He stood and followed her out.  
  
"We might as well walk back together," he said.  
  
"You're the one that made us walk all the way out here," Xev complained, "making me think there was some important loose end to tie up."  
  
"And you wouldn't call this a loose end?"  
  
"Not one that needs tying, no."


	5. Shove It Where the Sun Don't Shine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place during S4E5, "Xevivor."

Xev had worn many hats - bride, prisoner, Love Slave, Cluster Lizard, fugitive, Captain of the Lexx, lover and best friend, but never had she been a "reality show star," which seemed to entail a film crew following her around. But it wasn't a crew that reported what she usually did, as she minded her own business (nevermind that Xev couldn't mind her own business if she tried, and was always in some kind of danger), but a competition! Men would compete to win her love, or at the very least her  _"love,"_  and either was fine by her.  
  
Her last experience being observed by a film crew was during her latest imprisonment. Separated from the others, Xev found herself in the wrong place at the wrong time (and in the  _wrong_  state). One thing led to another, and whenever this sort of thing happened to the Lexx crew, being captured or imprisoned was usually involved.  
  
In the prison, secret pornography was being made using inmates as cast. Despite others' protests over rape (even the clergyman paired up with her), Xev was eager to get any sex for any unethical reason. Unfortunately for her, it didn't pan out so well. Fortunately, this meant she was a free woman again.  
  
Her new show was titled "Xevivor" and was much more mainstream. Because it appealed to her vanity, she had no idea the vastly changed 790 was orchestrating events to get her and Stan killed.  
  
"Wildcard" indeed! As the competition was going strong, and Xev settled down into her island paradise surrounded by hunks (occasionally nourishing herself with product placements), Stan suddenly appeared to completely ruin everything.  
  
"Ya know, I thought it was just a one time thing," Farley was telling her. Or more likely, thinking aloud. "It doesn't mean you're gay."  
  
Xev liked to think she had been everywhere and seen just about everything. True or not, she wasn't sure why the show's producer was sitting on her porch bemoaning his attraction to men. The two of them watched appreciatively as the contestants wrestled in the dirt for their latest Challenge. Xev didn't really  _want_  the boring producer around, but he was in charge, so what could she do about it?  
  
Stan approached the hut, and Farley stopped lusting after the contestants long enough to shoot him a glare. The camera crew was documenting events down the beach and trying not to get sand on themselves, when the director caught Farley's look and made a hand signal.  
  
Farley looked the man in red up and down a bit, confused.  
  
"Who are you?"  
  
"I'm the Wildcard," Stan replied, and Farley just gaped.  
  
"You're telling me."  
  
The director waved again, but Farley just waved back at him to indicate there wasn't a problem. Keep shooting.  
  
"You're not the…" Farley resisted using the word "beefcake." "You're not really the  _type_  of contestant we were looking for."  
  
Xev rolled her eyes and stood up, adjusting her blue skirt and heading inside.  
  
"Hey, hey, Xev, don't go anywhere. You have to be down on the beach for the judgement ceremony."  
  
"I do?"  
  
"Yes, of course, you gotta eliminate the next contestant. Get on the same page, girl." He addressed Stan again. "You, with the hat, how did you get this gig?"  
  
"Look, just between you and me…"  
  
Xev cut in, and pointed a distance away to distract her producer.  
  
"Uh….Oh! They're looking for you down the beach!" she lied, gesturing.  
  
Farley got up and headed off towards the director, who caught his gaze and was waving his arms. Farley took out his cell phone and dialed. The director, only ten feet away at this point, picked it up. Xev and Stan could see them gesturing at each other with exaggerated enthusiasm.  _Hollywood._  
  
"Stan, you can't tell him that we know each other."  
  
The two sat down on the porch, Xev frowning at this inconvenient turn of events.  
  
"They're gonna find out, ya know, if you keep treating me on camera like you did today."  
  
Xev looked down at the sand and picked at the edge of her nails.   
  
"It took me by surprise, seeing you pop up like that. It won't happen again."  
  
"Good," he said.  
  
"Because you're leaving the show for 'personal reasons.'"  
  
"What?"  
  
"You have to! It was a mistake to infringe on  _my_  show with everyone after you for the Key to the Lexx."  
  
" _My_  mistake?" Stan exclaimed. " _My_  mistake, with everyone after  _us?_  You're strutting around on what these people call 'network television,' viewed by millions of people, in a tiny blue get-up on some island and saying _that's_  low-profile?"  
  
"For what it's worth, it will get me money, and a  _man._  And you will never  _be_  that man, Stan."  
  
"Why do you think I got on the show?"  
  
"Let me think," she replied sarcastically. "To ruin my life."  
  
"So I could win the competition, so I could win  _you."_  
  
Xev still wouldn't meet his gaze. "I'm not a prize, Stan."  
  
He looked across the beach at the muscle men mugging for the camera.  
  
"Then what do you think you are to  _them?"_  
  
Xev stood up and headed inside her hut, which was really only a set-piece. Her real quarters were in a "trailer" a quarter mile away, complete with cool air and water.  
  
She noticed a few crew members had edged over to the hut with a camera.  
  
"Excuse me," she asked, "But have you been 'rolling?'"  
  
"How could we not?" one crew member asked. "This shit is  _gold!"_


	6. One Good Reason

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place after the series finale, S4E24, "Yo Way Yo."

"I can't believe he's finally gone," Xev murmured.   
  
"Me either."  
  
It had been a week, but mourning Kai didn't come easy to Xev at all, despite years of anticipating it. Mourning the dead man didn't come too easily to Stan either. The loss of Kai had hit them like a brick wall.  
  
The two sat on the floor of what served as the bridge on the Little Lexx, gazing out the window. Spawned from its dying parent, the baby bug zoomed across the galaxy searching for life that hadn't got eaten by Lyekka and her bad carrots.  
  
The floor had no metal tiling or beams, and Xev could swear she felt the Little Lexx's heartbeat through the organic, throbbing surface. Many of the Lexx's corridors had been carved out of fleshy walls, mucus coating them, some hallways smelling musky. It had never bothered Xev that the Lexx was an insect. It had gotten them into and out of so many scrapes, she and Stan had come to think of Lexx as another friend of theirs, despite his role as transport. And Little Lexx was sort of awe-inspiring. They had no idea such a phenomenon was possible, but were deeply grateful that it was, and that it had happened to them.  
  
Things on the Lexx hadn't been quiet for weeks, its atmosphere hardly conducive to contemplation, so these days on the Little Lexx, fleeing yet another ruined civilization, served to sober the friends a bit. Mostly selfish, but only ever trying to survive, the two had spent years roaming the universe looking for a home and  _consistently fucking up that simple task._  
  
Barreling through space, neither were sure when night ended and day began. They used to ask 790 the time, or just sleep when they were tired, getting up whenever they woke. They definitely needed sleep, though, and while Xev made a makeshift bed in a separate room, she kept creeping into Stan's at night, which was uncharacteristic of the independent woman.  
  
One night she came in to lie down next to him, and she was quiet for an hour, until she suddenly asked, "Does it ever stop hurting?"  
  
Stan looked puzzled, unsure what she meant. An open wound? Unrequited love? Guilt?  
  
"Everywhere we go," she said, sounding terribly sad, "there's so much…death."  
  
He thought maybe she was talking about Kai, but then she added, "We just keep messing up, and so many people  _die."_  
  
_Ohhh._  Yeah. He understood that one.  
  
"No, it doesn't," he answered, sitting up, knowing all too well what guilt felt like. Back in the Ostral-B Heretics, he had one task -  _one simple task_  - to take the plans to the Lexx past the Divine Order and keep it out of their hands.  
  
"Don't fuck it up, Tweedle," they had told him. Well, he sure fucked that one up. Irredeemably.  
  
But then again, if he hadn't, he wouldn't ever have seen the Lexx grown, or ended up with this girl on it.  
  
Exhausted and heavy with loss, Xev sat up and wrapped her arms around him. She buried her face in his neck and started to cry.  
  
"Kai…." She said, over and over. Stan could only hold her.  
  
Another night, Stan got up to use the bathroom when he heard noise coming from the bridge. He followed the sounds and found Xev singing the Brunnen-G war song. She stood still, her arms wrapped around herself. She was swaying with the music, gazing up and out at the stars longingly.   
  
He tried not to disturb her, and turned around to head back to his room, but she spotted him and stopped singing.  
  
"Stan."  
  
"Hey, uh, Xev." He was missing his hat and quite a bit of his clothing, so he stayed in the shadows. She hadn't even taken off those heavy black boots of hers. She must have been roaming the ship instead of sleeping.   
  
"Come here," she said, putting her hand out. He shook his head and gestured behind him.   
  
"I gotta get back to bed," he said. "But…" She wasn't the best singer, but she still sounded beautiful, as always. He didn't tell her that, though.   
  
_"Come here,"_  Xev repeated, walking over and grabbing his hand. She pulled him back over to where she had been standing and pointed outwards at the stars.   
  
"Sing with me."  
  
_Sing for Kai,_  she didn't say, although the implication was there, so he warbled a few notes. Before he knew it, his voice was gaining strength, matching her volume, and there they stood, two lonely figures on a giant insect singing the dead to their rest.   
  
Xev started to make it a habit to wander into his room at all hours, which she never did back on the Lexx. It was tacit they'd be forced into each other's company on the bridge, or in the bathroom, or in the "kitchen." He used to start making assumptions if she set foot  _near_  his bed, so she avoided it.   
  
Little Lexx living, Little Lexx rules. One night she entered without her boots on. That was like Stan going without his hat. Something was up.   
  
"Can I stay here tonight?"   
  
The question was getting so typical, Stan didn't really think twice about it. There was something different about her, though. She didn't look like she was grieving, anymore. She looked sort of…mischievous.   
  
"Sure, Xev," he said, lying down and rolling over. He felt the cushions shift with her weight, and started to drift off.  
  
Fading back out of sleep, Stan felt something tickling his neck.  
  
"Mmm."  
  
He blinked. What was that sensation?  
  
Oh.  _Oh._  
  
"Xev, what are you…?"  
  
She was  _kissing his neck._  
  
"Wake up," she said, smiling delightedly at his confused look.  
  
Oh, wow. Now  _that_  was unusual.   
  
The girl resumed kissing him, and placed her hand palm-down to caress his chest, its trajectory moving lower and lower, until she was touching…  
  
" _Oh!_  Hey now, um…"  
  
Stan sat up, displacing Xev on the bed. He took her wrist gingerly and moved her hand away. Was that rude? That was rude. And stupid. She might never do such a thing again. He nudged her hands off him anyway.  
  
"I thought you wanted me," Xev whispered, looking hurt and betrayed. It was such a familiar look of disappointment that it struck Stan to the core. Usually it was his own face making it.   
  
Stan didn't know half the bad things that had happened to Xev on Earth, and she would never tell him, so he had just assumed she was still a tough-as-nails Cluster Lizard that took shit from no one. Truthfully, Xev was as vulnerable as he was; they both just hid it with bravado.  
  
"I  _do_  want you, Xev," Stan replied, reaching down to stroke her blonde hair. She shut her eyes and leaned into the touch. This was too strange for words.   
  
Xev sat up, and the usually boisterous girl didn't speak louder than a whisper.  
  
"Tell me…" she started to say, trailing off before finishing her thought. " _…why._  You never did tell me why."  
  
Stan was a bit taken aback. Surely she hadn't felt this way all those years ago, as she flaunted her flawless body and smugly stated the obvious, leaving him gobsmacked in the Lexx's steamy shower room.  
  
He could tell Xev she was beautiful, that she was cunning, that she was arousing, and intimidating, goofy but arresting, courageous and loyal, hilarious yet sad. How would she react? It probably wasn't the best plan to just rattle off any of the countless adjectives that described her. They'd certainly never worked before.   
  
So instead he just repeated something he'd said when he was really, really high, once.  
  
"Because I love you."  
  
With no warning, Xev kissed him, full on the lips, and he didn't push her away this time. How could he possibly?  
  
She climbed on top of him, pushing him down on the bedding, deepening the kiss, but he stopped her to say something.  
  
"So, does this mean you…?"  
  
But Xev just kissed him again, silencing him,  _finally._  
  
_"Shut. Up."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a lack of 790 because he was last seen hurtling through space after the Lexx disintegrated. However, in the final shot of the series, he is swallowed by Little Lexx, implying he will rejoin Xev and Stan. I wrote this with the idea in mind that Little Lexx never swallowed him. Or if he did, they didn't find 790 down there yet. (And I didn't really care if they did, since he spent all of Season 4 trying to kill them.) That is why 790 isn't in the last chapter.
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading!


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